Narcissism, often seen as a psychological condition, offers profound lessons in spiritual disconnection and reconnection when viewed through the lens of oneness. Narcissists embody undesirable behaviors that ironically manifest the outcomes they fear most. By understanding these traits as contrasts, we can deduce how the mirror principle works by studying what happens when it doesn’t. Narcissists serve as examples of what not to do, revealing truths about alignment, unity, and the reflection of I AM.
The Mirror of Narcissism: A Lesson in What Not to Do
At its core, narcissism is a war against the mirror—an inability to accept that external reality reflects internal beliefs. Narcissists live in a disconnected inner world, struggling to reconcile their internal fears and insecurities with the external outcomes of their behaviors. Their traits, such as projection, gaslighting, and devaluation, are defenses against this reflection. Ironically, these behaviors reveal the very truths they attempt to avoid.
The Irony: Narcissists' attempts to manipulate reality often result in outcomes that expose their vulnerabilities.
The Understanding: People in separation will always behave this way, just as fire will always burn wood. This knowledge allows us to recognize the inevitability of their actions and adjust our understanding of oneness accordingly.
Decoding Narcissistic Traits and Their Insights
1. Projection: Reflecting the Self in Others
Why: Narcissists project their insecurities, fears, and flaws onto others because they cannot face these within themselves. They fail to recognize that I AM mirrors their internal world, as they operate as their own separate god, disconnected from oneness. This disconnection leads to a distorted reality where their internal chaos manifests externally.
Irony: In trying to distance themselves from their issues, they inadvertently highlight them for others, often leading to confrontation. For example, a narcissist who feels insecure about their competence might accuse someone else of being incompetent. Similarly, a person hiding their dishonesty may frequently call others liars. These accusations are projections of their internal state, exposing the very flaws they aim to conceal.
Insight: Projection teaches that just as a shadow is cast when an object blocks light, people disconnected from oneness will inevitably manifest their fears and insecurities. This inevitability reveals the mirror’s impartiality—it reflects both disconnection and unity.
2. Gaslighting: The Illusion of Reality Control
Why: Narcissists manipulate others’ perceptions to protect their fragile self-image from being challenged. For example, they might insist that someone misunderstood their intentions even when the evidence clearly shows otherwise. They may twist memories of past events to make others doubt their recollection or question their sanity. This can include statements like, “You’re imagining things” or “That never happened,” even when the opposite is true. Gaslighting often involves shifting blame subtly, such as making someone feel guilty for questioning the narcissist's actions or decisions.
Irony: The more they try to control others’ reality, the more likely it becomes that the truth will surface, eroding trust. For example, a narcissist might rewrite history to portray themselves as the victim, only for others involved to eventually compare notes and expose the lies. Similarly, their constant denials of wrongdoing often lead to patterns of behavior that are impossible to hide, creating a cycle of exposure and isolation. The very effort to maintain control ensures they lose it.
Insight: Gaslighting demonstrates the futility of distorting reality. The mirror principle reflects the collective truth—manipulation only delays, but never prevents, alignment with what is real.
3. Triangulation: Division as a Deflection
Why: Narcissists involve third parties to create competition or alliances, avoiding direct confrontation with their insecurities.
Irony: This tactic often backfires, leading to isolation or exposure of their manipulative nature. Narcissists fail to recognize that the social dynamic is not purely predator and prey but triadic. Omnivore Archetypes—those who balance and adapt—act as a stabilizing force, countering narcissistic tactics. This balancing force creates the very situation narcissists fear most: exposure and accountability, ensuring their divisive strategies lead to their own undoing.
Insight: Triangulation highlights the interconnected nature of relationships. Narcissists fail to understand self-governing triads in practice, where their predatory behavior triggers balancing forces. Family, friends, and even societal structures like law enforcement naturally act to restore balance and accountability. Efforts to divide only reveal the importance of unity and transparency, as these forces collectively work to counteract manipulation and reinforce harmony.
4. Devaluation: The Fear of Equality
Why: Narcissists devalue others to assert superiority and shield themselves from vulnerability. Their pride leads them to act as separate gods over others, denying the interconnectedness of oneness. This false sense of supremacy masks their own insecurities and fear of equality.
Irony: This behavior often destroys the very relationships or respect they sought to maintain, ultimately reducing their own position in the hierarchy. By acting as separate gods and devaluing others, narcissists ironically devalue themselves in the eyes of those they wish to control, reinforcing their isolation and undermining their perceived power.
Insight: Devaluation reveals the irony within hierarchy. While pecking orders exist in nature and even in heaven as described in the KJV, they function through mutual respect and purpose. Narcissists, by acting as separate gods over others, disrupt this balance. What one gives, one ultimately receives—by devaluing others, narcissists devalue themselves, losing respect and their position in the hierarchy, reinforcing their isolation and diminishing their influence.
5. Hoovering: The Cycle of Rejection and Pursuit
Why: Narcissists attempt to pull others back into their orbit out of fear of abandonment and loss of control. Their actions of pushing others away reflect the mirror principle at work: their inner world of separation naturally manifests as isolation.
Irony: Ironically, this separation also activates balancing forces—such as supportive family, friends, or societal systems—that pull them back toward unity when they let go. Narcissists, by clinging to control, delay this reintegration and create a painful cycle that mirrors their disconnection, proving the inevitability of the mirror’s reflection.
Insight: Hoovering reveals the universal need for connection. However, narcissists see others as separate, while paradoxically wanting unity. This disconnection twists their need into control, and balancing forces—the natural reflection of the mirror principle—act to restore equilibrium. Genuine relationships must be rooted in freedom and authenticity, not fear-driven manipulation.
6. Blame-Shifting: Escaping Responsibility
Why: Narcissists shift blame to avoid accountability, protecting their self-image from criticism. This behavior reinforces their victim identity, allowing them to cast themselves as innocent while deflecting responsibility. By doing so, they maintain control over the narrative, avoiding the discomfort of self-reflection while deepening their disconnection from others.
Irony: This behavior erodes trust and alienates others, amplifying their isolation and dissatisfaction. Ironically, narcissists accuse others of the very things they are guilty of, exposing their own weaknesses. This misunderstanding of oneness leads them to project their disconnection outward, unaware that their accusations highlight their inner struggles for all to see.
Insight: Blame-shifting underscores the interconnectedness of actions and consequences. It showcases the narcissist's inner struggle for all to see, as their victim identity reflects a rejection of the power of their own inner world. Avoiding responsibility disrupts the flow of oneness, as growth requires acknowledgment and alignment with truth.
7. Love Bombing: The False Promise of Love
Why: Narcissists use intense affection to quickly secure loyalty and mask their inner emptiness. In doing so, they might see the person as an external savior who will fulfill their unmet needs, failing to realize that the true source of fulfillment lies within themselves.
Irony: This behavior often leads to disillusionment or skepticism, undermining genuine connection. Narcissists push love away from themselves while attempting to secure it, creating a paradox where their actions directly contradict their desires, further isolating them.
Insight: Love bombing illustrates the distortion of unconditional love. True connection grows naturally and authentically, reflecting the harmony of oneness rather than manipulation.
8. Entitlement: Demanding Unconditional Adoration
Why: Entitlement arises from a belief in superiority, masking deep insecurities and unworthiness. This belief often reinforces a victim identity, where the narcissist perceives themselves as deserving more while rejecting the interconnectedness of oneness. By holding onto this identity, they amplify their disconnection from others and their own inner power.
Irony: This attitude often generates resentment, further denying the narcissist the respect they seek. In their entitled victim identity, narcissists amplify their disconnection by rejecting oneness. Instead of gaining more, they ultimately lose entitlement and receive less, showcasing the mirror principle at work.
Insight: Entitlement reveals how rejecting the interconnectedness of oneness leads to disconnection and loss. Narcissists believe they deserve unconditional adoration while failing to realize that what they give to the mirror of reality is exactly what they receive. Respect and connection flow naturally by grace, reflecting the inner world of alignment or disconnection.
9. Lack of Empathy: The Barrier to Connection
Why: Narcissists avoid empathy to shield themselves from vulnerability, fearing that acknowledging others’ pain might mirror their own.
Irony: By denying empathy, they isolate themselves, missing the richness of connection that could address their deepest needs. Narcissists often see others as external saviors, hoping to extract empathy while refusing to offer it. This rejection of compassion mirrors their own internal disconnection, leaving them further isolated and unfulfilled.
Insight: Lack of empathy demonstrates how rejecting compassion reflects disconnection from oneness. Narcissists view empathy as a weakness, failing to see that what they give, they ultimately receive. By denying empathy, they isolate themselves, creating a mirror of their inner disconnection that blocks the unity they seek.
Conclusion: Narcissism as a Contrast to Oneness
Narcissistic traits serve as powerful contrasts, showing us what not to do when seeking connection, unity, and fulfillment. Their behaviors demonstrate the consequences of resisting oneness and fighting against the mirror of reality. By studying narcissism, we understand the universal principles of reflection—how separation inevitably manifests undesirable outcomes, while alignment with oneness fosters harmony and growth.
The journey from narcissism to oneness does not involve changing the narcissist but learning from their example. Recognizing the inevitable outcomes of disconnection allows us to consciously align with truth, empathy, and unity. In this way, narcissism becomes not just a challenge but a profound lesson in the power of oneness and the transformative potential of embracing our shared connection.
